In Absentia
by Darthishtar
Summary: The diary of an Imperial officer's wife and the Imperial 'home front.' Updated once daily for the year of 2008.
1. Chapter 1

Atunda, 1/1 23 AI

Before Edam shipped out this time, he insisted that I make him a promise. "Ive," he said, "this isn't going to be an easy year for any of us, but keep yourself and Alys happy in any way that you sensibly can." 

I know it would be unjust to assume that it's easy for him to say that. After all, he took a leave of absence for an unheard of week last year when I lost the baby. Between the three of us, we're all that each other has. My parents were on Alderaan, but I don't speak of that in polite circles. His mother died in childbirth and his father died just after Alys was born. At least they all got to meet her and she has memories of them. I dislike that she knows so much loss when she is only seven years old, but she is still a child. She still thinks that there is no chance that Papa will go to join Grandmother and Grandfather. 

Relatively speaking, she may be right. Edam was transferred at the last round of reassignments to be one of the bridge officers on the Star Destroyer _Avenger_. That is in Vader's fleet and so far, though many have tried, no Rebel force has ever conquered that fleet. Needa is a good man with a family of his own and I do not believe that he will put his ship at unnecessary risk.

Edam asked me to make our family happy in his absence, so the first thing I did was to take some of the higher salary that had come with his promotion to Colonel and find a good school for Alys. There aren't many schools beyond Coruscant that will accept deaf students at all, but Coronet Academy is quite different. There is an equal mix of hearing and hearing-impaired children, but all have at least one family member who understands Galactic Standard Sign Language. In addition, every single student there is the child of someone serving in the Imperial armed forces.

We toured the school today--Alys will be starting the second form on Satunda and I did not relish the idea of sending her alone to an unfamiliar place. Her instructor will be Lady Sarlik, a soft-spoken woman from Chandrila who has a deaf husband.

Edam would approve of this place. It is a small school with fewer students to each teacher and the war is not ignored. No one ignores the honorable services of the parents. There is a holoscreen in each class room with the name of the child and a holo of both the child and the ship where Mama or Papa is serving or the logo of the division to which the parent is assigned in the infantry.

The only thing that struck me as wrong was a relatively minor thing. Traditionally, the GSSL sign for Alderaan has been the letter A opening like flower petals in remembrance of the Royal Gardens at Antibes. Today was the first time that I saw the new sign used for it. When talking to us, Lady Sarlik mentioned that I had grown up on Alderaan. She signed the letter A and then converted it into the sign for explosion. Alys seemed distressed by this and I demanded to know if she would be required to disrespect her mother's homeworld in that way. Sarlik looked rather abashed and asured me that this was not the case. 

Despite this minor argument, everything went smoothly. We went to dinner in the Theater District to celebrate and got her new school uniforms. Alys has been remarkably patient in this whole process--she is accustomed to not having Papa there at night and she likes our new house much better than the cramped apartment that we all shared on Coruscant.

I want her to be happy here. I want Edam to feel happy here when he comes home on furlough. I hope I have made headway in that effort.


	2. Chapter 2

Katunda, 1/2 23 AI

Edam sent a message from the _Avenger_ to let us know that he arrived safely and to give us a few details about his new post. As usual, it was a holo. He doesn't allow himself many other luxuries just so that his daughter can see him and he can communicate with her. She's able to read his letters, but takes a natural pleasure in seeing Papa.

Edam amuses me, but is a wonderful man. He always signs his messages at the same time that he's speaking. Two years ago, he was at home on leave when we found out that Alys' illness would take her hearing. I am a sentimental, maternal type and cried for all of us. Edam immediately went to work, preparing for what her life would be like in just a few weeks. He was the district security chief at the time and his team began catching him dictating his notes in a new way. He would have the microphone at his right and a mirror in front of him, with a dictionary datacard on his computer terminal. That explained why he would stay late at the office working, since it took him twice as long to finish his notes when he had to look up every other word. Still, he insisted on learning Alys' new language in the context of his work. By the time Alys could not longer hear his quiet laugh or the way he sang lullabies off-key, we had all learned to go without words.

I caught him using the same new sign for Alderaan that Alys' teacher did this time. It immediately disturbed me, but a moment later, I realized that he was referring to a ship called the _Alderaanp_ that they had engaged just after his arrival. He was not disrespecting the memory of the Rebellion's first mass murder victim, but was giving the both of us a way of realizing that he knew which one was an enemy. It's strange to see him signing terms of endearment and jokes in the same message in which he uses the sharp, ugly signs for things such as Star Destroyer or bombers.

School starts tomorrow, so we spent today organizing her books and scribblepads. Alys does not like such drudgery, but I rewarded her by taking her out for iced chocolate after dinner and bought her a red coat to go over her blue blouse and dark-blue knee-length skirt. It looks wonderful with the dark hair that her Papa gave her and the fair skin that was my genetic gift. She enjoys 'fancy' things and has already developed a fascination with the red coat. In order to keep her from wearing it to bed, I let her lay out her school clothes on the repulsorchair next to her bed.

Tomorrow, she'll be spending the entire day at school and I have to begin work as well. The family for whom I tutored on Chandrila was able to provide me links to several families here on Imperial Center who were looking for a private tutor. The youngest is a girl Alys' age. Perhaps they can be friends if that does not get in the way of my effectively teaching the children.


	3. Chapter 3

1/3 23 AI

Today was her first day at the new school. We answered Papa's comm over breakfast, since as usual, she was running too late to do it at any other time.  
Admittedly, it's no easier to sign when you are trying to finish your phraigmeal. My favorite image of the day will undoubtedly amuse Edam as well.   
Alys grew frustrated with multi-tasking and finished the comm in one long rush. She accomplished this by wedging her toast in her teeth so she could  
have her hands free to talk. Since GSSL involves both hand-signals and facial expressions, it was quite comical to see the two work togeher while  
she was trying to not drop her toast on her new blouse.

I dropped her off and waited just like every fretful parent until she had been escorted with the rest of her class into the school. The advantage of  
GSSL is that I can eavesdrop on conversations quite easily. The girl behind her in the line was named Emali and liked her braids. The boy in front  
of her didn't want her 'cooties.' I have to wonder if Edam was ever like that. Somehow, I have difficulty picturing it.

I tarried too long at the school and did not have time to change before going to the home where I will be tutoring. The mother gave me a stern look  
for being in slacks and a blouse rather than an acceptable skirt, but the children did not seem to mind. The group consists of ten children between  
the ages of seven and ten and only three of them are fully focused on their work. I teach group lessons on history, music and Chanduri, which is the  
old language from their home planet of Chandrila. Once those hours are spent, I work individually with each while the others complete assignments in   
writing or reading.

Today was primarily about evaluating the children. They have all taken the standardized tests for their age group and Ila, the seven-year-old, shows  
the most aptitude. The oldest is a ten-year-old boy who is something of a technical genius. If he ever has the chance to meet Edam, they will be fast  
friends. Perhaps I will ask Edam to tutor me on how to relate to him.

I finished my work just in time to retrieve Alys and had to listen out of the corner of my eye to stories about everything from Emali's six brothers  
to the pitten they have in the classroom. It is a wonder she also remembered to talk about what they were learning, because from what she was signing,  
it didn't seem as if she had paid attention to anything other than her surroundings.

I helped her with her homework for Social Studies before dinner. Since they will be studying what is going on in the Galaxy, they have a large holomap, su  
superimposed with information about the ships or bases in that area. That way, if they are studying something in the Mid-Rim this side of Anoat, they  
will notice that her Papa is stationed there. Subsequently, we had to compile his holo, the file on the _Avenger_ and some details on the sector  
where he is stationed. I am not encouraged by the number of less-desirable worlds that Edam's ship patrols, but I doubt that, as a Fleet officer,  
he will have much exposure to them.

The workload was light today, since they have little to do except introduce their topics of study. After dinner, I took her to the district library  
and helped her find four books to read as a reward for finishing her homework each night. She is starting to read chapter books, which is a relief since  
I did not favor the rhyming nonsense that seemed to be everywhere when she was younger. She likes it when we sit side-by-side and read 'out loud'  
with each other. It is a good way to teach ourselves signs that we might not have known otherwise.

She went to bed at a reasonable hour and I finished my lesson plans. I think I will send a comm to my sister to remind her about Alys' birthday next  
week. She said she might be able to visit.


	4. Chapter 4

1/4 23 AI

Another comm came from Edam, but this was a sound-only file. For us, that is the equivalent of "for your eyes only" and means that something is potentially wrong. I am grateful that I received it before leaving to the Mekthamas' because I might have not handled it well.

As it turned out, my initial fear was mostly unfounded. Whereas the _Avenger_ has always been in Darth Vader's fleet, Lord Vader has decided to form something of a splinter group. It is specifically designed for the discovery and elimination of the Rebels' primary base. That means that he will be involved in some of the more dangerous battles of the war. The stories of what the Rebels have done at places such as Yavin are the stuff of legend. I can only hope that some of the stories are exaggerations.

The name of the new group is rather ominous--Death Squadron. I suppose that after hearing that the _Avenger_ accompanies the _Executor_, I should not be surprised. Edam said that the nature of the group will become more public knowledge soon and wanted to prepare me in case Alys was treated differently for her father's association with the Squadron.

I have no doubt that there will be something that she notices. Already, there is a kind of respectful distinction between the children whose parents are stormtroopers or infantry soldiers and those whose parents are fighting more impersonal battles in the navy. The distinction between gunners and officers is even greater. Alys is not the sort to be bothered by that, but I am not sure how well she will adapt to this new affiliation. I will have to remind her that Papa did not choose his placement, but is simply trying to do his best to win the war, just like any other soldier of the Empire.

After work, I picked up Alys and made dinner while she did her homework. Since she is getting into a regular routine, I allowed her to watch some of the holoprograms as a reward after she had finished and I finished unpacking the last of the boxes that we brought with us. 

In the second-to-last box, I found the flag that we were given when Edam left the Academy and was given his first commission. It is a dazzling white piece of fabric that we hang from the front right window to indicate that one of our dearly beloved is away from home, fighting for the good of all those in the Empire. Since Alys has been old enough, I have allowed her to do the honors of hanging it. Tonight was no exception.

The moment it was hung, she turned and told me that one of the children in her class had been given a black flag this morning. That means that one of her classmates has lost a parent to the war and that they will remain in the school out of respect to the fallen. Mr. Dumailnk, the headmaster, says that this is not uncommon, though there are many children who leave the school because the reminder of what they have lost is too painful.

As always, I encouraged her to be sympathetic to this classmate, but to not fear too much. After all, her Papa is on one of the most indestructible crafts known to sentients. The _Avenger_ has taken many beatings in battle, but never fallen. There is a chance that some day we may change our flag for a black one, but Edam is not a TIE pilot. He is not one of the inadequately shielded cruisers. He is an officer on a Star Destroyer under Vader's command. He is not indestructible, but he is not as vulnerable as he could be.


	5. Chapter 5

1/5 23 AI

Tonight was Back to School night as a kind of orientation. Of course, I was thoroughly oriented several days ago, but Alys was very excited about it. I finally met Emali's mother, an outspoken Raltiirian who is on the verge of giving birth to her sixth child. Emali is the third and her oldest brother, Jisse, is the hearing-impaired one. According to Naden, Emali grew up more accustomed to GSSL than to Basic--she thinks Basic is limiting.

Half of the evening seemed to be taken up by these sorts of introductions, first with Naden and then with the parents of Miri, Kiratta and Tyla. It is a wonder that I managed to pay attention to the educational side of things at all. 

As it was, we were given the syllabi for the second-form class and I was relieved to see that the Academy is living up to its reputation for a well-rounded education. I have determined to read every book on the reading list by the Spring hiatus. Since most of them are ten chapters at longest, I should have no trouble at all. One of the books is potentially questionable. There are rumors that the author was imprisoned for sedition. I've read some of her political treatises, but not her juvenile fiction.

Tyla's father serves on the _Avenger_ as well, as one of the gunners. Neither she nor Alys have been bothered since last night's announcement of the Fleet reorganization. It seems to be typical of children that they will either not understand the significance of something or they will overstate it. For now, the children at school seem to be tending towards the former habit. It is a small mercy. Alys was not particularly eager about coming here in the first place and it was fortuitous that we were able to find her a good school. I have to wonder when my luck will start running out.

I heard from my sister. She will be coming for Alys' birthday on Katunda. It will be a relief--Alys adores her lone aunt and that aunt is well-heeled enough to dote on her extravagantly. I do not always approve of that, but enjoy seeing my little one treated well.


	6. Chapter 6

1/6 23 AI

Atunda already? We have been settled in for a full week and I am glad that it is passing quickly.

There's not much to report on some days. For example, today, Alys was on time to school. The children I tutor had all done their homework and the one disruptive child was out with a mild pox that most children get at one time or another. Edam did not comm, but as I said, that is to be expected. His two comms were unexpected as it is, but when there are fleet movements, they often go into comm silence.

I started reading Alys' book list with the help of the Coronet Public Library. So far, my favorite has been the tale of a girl with a holographic memory who solves mysteries. It is an excellent book for developing deductive reasoning skills.

I also enjoyed "Oh Squeak Can You Speak?", which is a book of nothing but interminable tongue-twisters. It is difficult to convert into GSSL and gets somewhat lost in translation, but I gave it a go as a bedtime story. Alys giggled at how many times my hands got tangled up in each other trying to keep the words straight. I challenged her to do better and she gave me a conciliatory but unnecessary hug. Unnecessary or not, it was much appreciated.

I will cut my efforts short here, since I have procrastinated my lesson plans for tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

1/7 23 AI

Little to report today. Work as usual. Alys had difficulty with her mathematics assignment and absently wished that Papa could explain it to her. It is sometimes strange what will make her miss him. Perhaps, like me, she constantly misses him, but chooses the odd moments to say as much.

I had a comm from Tyla's mother tonight. She wanted to know if we would like to accompany them to the aquarium tomorrow night. We accepted the invitation and I extended one for Alys' birthday dinner. If we had been here longer, I might have given her a proper party, but for now, I will make up in gifts and friends what I lack in festivities.

I hope Edam remembers Alys' birthday. Last year, he was given shore leave on the appointed day, but this year, he is too new to the command to ask for such a thing. At least he will be given time to make a comm call. It's the least he can do.


	8. Chapter 8

1/8 23 AI

I remember very vividly the day that I told my sister Lisia that her only niece was going to be deaf. Lisia is my older sister and practically raised me, so has always been a somewhat more pragmatic character than I have ever been. Alys was given the Corellian adaptation of Lisia's name and the two of them are sometimes too alike.

She was, as expected, sympathetic. She recognized my need to cry and endured all of the distress that I had been leaving unsaid so that Alys would not overhear. When I had finished pouring out my heart over a strong cup of tea, she reached across the table and squeezed my fingers.

"Ive, love," she said. "Look at it this way. You will never have to complain about your noisy child."

She was wrong, of course. Fairly quickly, Alys began testing her hearing loss by making a racket and seeing how much of it she could still hear. When she could no longer hear her own voice, she would talk just to feel what sound was again in her throat. She still hums to herself, though more often than not, it stays on the same pitch. I think she misses hearing her dulcet tones even more than I do.

But I digress. What made me recall that conversation was tonight's birthday celebration. It was true that most of the conversations passed without a single word spoken, but having four hyperactive seven- and eight-year-olds signing frenetically at you for attention can be just as overwhelming as a small room full of screaming children. The mothers were fairly understanding and tried not to talk over each other.

Lisia arrived from Imperial Center this morning and we had no sooner returned from an early birthday breakfast than Edam called. It must have taken a good portion of his week's wages to make a live comm call rather than leaving a message, but I could tell that Alys would remember this more than the package that he sent later today.

Lisia and I left Alys in the study to converse with her Papa while Lisia interrogated me verbally about how well we were doing here. She seemed to be satisfied with all of my answers, since I did not pretend that this is easy for either of us. Lisia's husband died a few months after Yavin and they had no children together, but she still does an excellent job of mothering me to death. When we returned to the study, Alys was telling Edam about how I was happy and liked being a teacher. She 'graciously' let me have a few minutes with him so I could tell him the same things and a few other important things that Alys could not say as convincingly or verbally. 

I had a short day at the Mekthamas today, since they are leaving for a family funeral on Chandrila tomorrow and will not return for a week. This also gave me the chance to bring chocolate cupcakes with blue icing--Alys' favorite color--to class. I had ensured beforehand that this was as much a tradition on Corellia as in Alys' last school. I am glad that Alys has not yet outgrown such sentimentality.

I went to the spaceport to retrieve the off-world mail that I had been anticipating while Lisia decorated the house for the evening. As soon as Alys left school, we went to Dila's, a dress shop that I had promised to show her. She found a suitably festive blue caten dress with a scalloped hem and a wide sash around the waist. Edam's package contained a dark-blue overcoat that I know he found while away on training last year. Alys seemed please with herself that she was able to coordinate the two.

By the time we reached home, there was just enough time to finish the food preparations and do Alys hair in a crown of braids before her friends arrived. She played a very gracious hostess, but acted just like a seven-year-old. That was something of a comfort to me. She liked the doll that Tyla brought for her, the holos from Emali, the board game from Miri and the gift chip to a local candy store that Kiratta provided. Lisia brought her a new shoulderbag for school, several sets of clothing that I know we would not be able to afford on a Colonel's salary and a lapel pin with the crest of the _Avenger_ on it. Being the uptight, educational mother that I am, I got her some of the books that I had loved as a child and a written RSVP to take her out for a day of whatever she wanted to do within reason. 

When the cake was served, the happy birthday song signed and the guests shuffled off to their respective homes, Lisia helped Alys bring her new things upstairs while I cleared up. I was wise enough to use disposable dishes so there were no plates to load or shattered bowls to sweep up. One of the other officers' wives reminded me when Edam was promoted that on a Colonel's salary, we could probably afford a housekeeper. With only one child to mind, I will never give in to that temptation. Cleaning is more cathartic for me than leisure time, since I can take control of one thing and feel as if I have accomplished something.

I will leave this here for the time being. The birthday girl needs help with a project for the writing lessons at school and perhaps I'll convince Lisia to help me finish off some of the leftover cake.


End file.
